Welcome!
Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on clearing negative emotions.
 Wishing
you much love and light,
Jennifer
T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community
| Dissolving Fear to Live in Joy |
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Prefer to listen to the newsletter? Click the arrow to hear Jennifer read the newsletter to you.
I awoke with a tightness in my chest and an awful feeling in my stomach. It was 3 a.m. It took a moment to identify the feeling. I am afraid, I thought, startled and puzzled. Fear is not an emotion I experience very often. I am ordinarily well-grounded in the belief that the Universe loves me, that I am never alone, and that I am always taken care of.
As I came more fully awake I realized where the fear was coming from. The previous day I had consulted a business “expert” to help me create a plan to take the Spiritual Growth Community to the next level, one that would create financial self-sufficiency after spending the last three years investing considerable time and resources into creating what the Buddhists would call my “right livelihood.”
In essence the business expert made “helpful” comments that cast doubt on the marketable value of my website. This in turn triggered my self-doubt and fear that I can be financially self-sufficient doing the work I love and that I am clearly called to do.
To make his point, he confidently itemized creditable examples to prove how nearly impossible it is to make a living as a spiritual teacher, with an implication that I am no Deepak Chopra, Doreen Virtue or Debbie Ford. This in turn activated the “I am nobody and have nothing to offer” split-off personality self that had, heretofore, been nicely out of sight. Damn!
It was if someone pulled a plug in the bottom of my feet and my life force drained right out of me. Of course his comments would have had no effect on me unless there were parts of me that harbored matching doubts.
Whoa, Nellie. I needed to retreat and regroup!
Here is an important fact: it is impossible to think clearly when in fear, so the first order of business was to dissipate the fear energy.
I ransacked my spiritual toolbox and began applying remedies: EFT (emotional freedom technique). I ran my Light Body energies and worked with the fear as energy. I’d receive a brief respite, sometimes for minutes, once for almost a whole day, only to be followed by another wave of fear, which triggered anger, which triggered depression.
I took a couple of days off. I expressed my emotions to my colleague, Rev. Susana Atsatt who held a loving, listening space without trying to fix it. She shared her own process of crystal healing that she had used to deal with “negative” energy. While she was talking about her process an image came into my mind of the egg-shaped polished black-with-white-speckles Snowflake Obsidian from my crystal and stone collection that had been gathering dust for years. I showed it to Susana. She suggested I clean and clear it (run it under water then place in the sun for a day) and bring it to her place where she would do a crystal healing for me and help me program the crystal for future use.
Curious as to why I was drawn to this stone I consulted my “metaphysical properties of the mineral kingdom” book, Love is in the Earth, by Melody, which said:
(Snowflake Obsidian) . . . allows one to recognize the unnecessary patterns which remain in ones life and to re-design ones thought patterns to provide relief from undesired conditions.
A resonating wave moved through my body. I was on the right track. In the meantime another colleague, Spiritual Channel, Patrice Noli (heartofthestar@comcast.net) called to tell me about the energies of fear, anger and depression that are especially active in mass consciousness right now and how it is affecting us. She reminded me to use the Violet Flame to transmute these energies. (www.saintgermainfoundation.org/body3.htm )
I love how the Universe brings me the next “breadcrumb” just as I need it to find my way “home” to my true self (the one who knows who she is, and who feels safe in the world).
It was now clear that the distressing comments from the business expert were perfectly created to reveal the deep, unresolved doubt and fear that had been hiding in my subconscious mind, and also stored as energy in my physical body, so that I could clear it . . . not that this information made the experience any less excruciating.
Patrice had also pointed out that as I cleared these “negative” emotions in myself, it would also help dissipate the negative energies rampant in mass consciousness right now.
I wish I could say I was glad to be of service to humanity in this way. Sorry . . . it was more of a “why me” and “this is too hard . . . let humanity fend for itself . . . I mean, what has humanity done for me lately?” . . . fume, fume!
NOTE TO SELF: you have a crybaby, wimpy, split-off part of your personality that needs some evolving, sister! As soon as you get this fear stuff handled you better take care of that too! (To which my response was something like “wha, wha, I don’t wanna, boo hoo”).
Resistance . . . doncha love it?!
Anyway, because I could find no other way out, I finally got myself together with a hearty “all righty then . . . time to clean my emotional house!”
I had my crystal healing with Susana and took my programmed Snowflake Obsidian to bed with me the next two nights and began to experience intermittent relief. It was fascinating and distressing at the same time to experience the up and down emotional waves that undulated through my waking hours. Truthfully, I began to wonder if maybe I was exhibiting bi-polar symptoms rather than working my way through a Dark Night of the Soul!
The final “breadcrumb” that brought me “home” to an expanded Self (new and improved model!) came to me on Monday night. This was the night of the once-a-month teleclass for the Spiritual Growth Community members when I channel a message from my guide, Abraham. Honestly, I didn’t really feel like channeling. I wasn’t feeling like much of a spiritual teacher. I was feeling depressed and not seeing how I was ever going to come through this Dark Night.
Abraham’s message described the complexity of elements, within us and in our outside environment, that we must navigate during this winter season. He reiterated that humanity is in the midst of an evolutionary leap; that our entire structure (physical, emotional, mental) is being restructured to prepare us to transition into an evolved species.
He encouraged us to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we make this transition. Abraham said that in these unstable times we often ask ourselves “what must I do” in a particular situation, when often the better question is “what must I let go of?”
Abraham also reiterated that the key to managing this evolutionary shift is expanding our consciousness, and developing the skills necessary to manage our internal environment, that is our emotions, thoughts and limiting beliefs.
He concluded his message with a guided imagery to demonstrate how to bring harmony to our internal, physical body energies. He said the value in this is that what is internal out-pictures into our external environment; that a harmonized internal environment translates to harmony in our external world.
And, hey, don’t we all need that?!
After the call, though it was only 8 p.m., I climbed into bed and began doing the imagery Abraham had given us. I immediately experienced an inner peace and feeling that all is well in my world. I dozed and awoke, dozed and awoke over the next few hours. Each time I awoke I continued with the imagery all the while feeling peaceful and at ease with life.
I woke this morning at 4:10 a.m. and continued with the imagery until about 5 a.m. when I got the “hit” to get up and edit out the “uhs” and “ums” from the recorded channeled message so it could be uploaded to the Spiritual Growth Community member access side of the website.
Listening to the message again deepened the feeling of inner peace. It also restored my confidence as a spiritual teacher. I, personally, may be a “nobody,” but what channels through me is truly something amazing! It definitely provides useful, vital information to help others on their spiritual journey of becoming consciously aware of who they truly are, and helping them step into their Authentic Selves to have more Joy and less struggle in their lives.
BOTTOM LINE: All of us have trapped, unresolved emotions like fear, anger, sadness, etc. that must be cleared from our physical, emotional and mental bodies in order to make the leap into the new level of evolved being. What doesn’t get cleared at the energy level will eventually manifest at the physical level, which is much harder to clear.
We all need help in doing this transformative work. Let your heart guide you to the perfect healing modality, the perfect class, the perfect workshop, the perfect teacher, the perfect book for the Now moment, the perfect Spiritual Growth Community (well, you know I just had to slip that in  )
TIPS: When you make your commitment to your spiritual growth the Universe will put consciousness expansion opportunities (“breadcrumbs”) in your path in the form of books, classes, workshops, and teachers. All you have to do is say “yes” to the opportunities that interest you.
P.S. Remember, a lot of what you are drawn to won’t “make sense” and that is the whole point! You are evolving into a new species that will access not only logic and rationality, but the whole spectrum of your navigation system, which includes your heart, your soul, your feelings and emotions. Your logical, rational mind will become a valuable partner with your heart, soul, feelings and emotions, rather than the petty dictator it has previously been.
P.P.S. I would be remiss if I didn’t also acknowledge my Virtual Assistant, Angee Robertson for her soulful coaching as I worked my way through this; my colleague, Intuitive Counselor, Kim Robinson, whose loving presence provided comfort and support; and my daughter, Katharyn (Kaydee) Brady who is interning as a Matrix Energetics practitioner.
Are you experiencing roller coaster emotions, particularly fear, anger and/or depression? Contact me with your comments. I’d love to hear from you about what you are experiencing.
Also, if you are not a member of the Spiritual Growth Community, be on the lookout for an offer to purchase the recording and written transcript of Abraham’s channeling. It will go a long way to helping you surf the chaos and navigate the flow of these turbulent, transformative times.
Just remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or so they say.
And it truly does feel like death going through a Dark Night! 
I’ll “see” you in our next newsletter December 23rd.
Love & Light,
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