Welcome!
Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on the folly of judging judgmental people!
 Wishing
you much love and light,
Jennifer
T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community
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Did you ever see that poster that said something like “Never try to teach a pig to sing. You will only frustrate yourself and annoy the pig!”
I was reminded of that when I found myself in conversation with a fellow student at the Matrix Energetics seminar I attended in Austin, Texas last week. Not to imply in any way that the student was a pig. No, not at all. In fact, just the opposite. She was a wonderful lady with a big heart who was worried about the reckless behavior (in her opinion) of a friend of hers.
Because we were at a spiritually focused seminar I made the assumption that she was interested in eliminating judgment from her life. I thought most spiritually-minded people knew that when we judge something as bad or wrong our brain activates the fight or flight chemicals, which in turn stresses our immune system and does nothing to positively change what is!
Among my peers we appreciate it when it is pointed out when we unconsciously make a judgment so we can get back on track of allowing life to unfold as it does, while we choose whether or not we want to participate in what is unfolding.
So when my new friend lamented her friend’s “bad decisions,” I helpfully pointed out “that’s a judgment.”
Instead of a “thank-you” she said it was because she cared so much for her friend that she wanted to get her to change her behavior so she could avoid further consequences.
Instead of asking a few questions that would let me know where she was in wanting to eliminate judgment from her perspective, I launched into the same dialogue I use with myself in situations like that. “How do you know your friend shouldn’t be having these experiences? Maybe this is exactly what her soul has on its learning agenda?”
When the response was “well, I just have so much compassion for her, and I don’t want her to have any more bad experiences,” did I use my discernment to recognize where she was in her learning? No, dammit! I went on to point out that her judgment was detrimental to herself . . . blah, blah, blahing about what it was doing to her immune system, etc. — metaphorically speaking, trying to get this pig to sing!
As she continued to defend her position my discernment finally kicked in and I recognized how out of harmony our exchange had become. Fortunately for both of us, I retreated and regrouped with a “Oh, yes I can see why you’d feel that way,” and let go of the need to change her mind.
Ahh! Allowing what is, is such a wonderful antidote to the stress of being right, I thought, feeling a bit sorry for her lack of understanding of what she was doing to herself.
It was only later that I realized I was judging that she shouldn’t be judging her friend! Gadzooks, talk about a cosmic joke! Instead of me allowing her to be where she was, I was judging that it was wrong for her to judge her friend.
OK, well at least I realized it sooner rather than later and had a good laugh on myself!
BOTTOM LINE: Having a compassionate heart and holding a loving space, while allowing others to be where they are on their journey is a demonstration of enlightened self-interest. And it goes a long way to reducing our own frustration, And . . . we will be a lot less annoying to our family and friends whose life perspectives are different than ours!
TIPS: Whenever you find yourself getting tense when discussing ideas and concepts, take a breath, agree that you can see how the person would see things the way they do, and just let it go.
P.S. A sure sign you have unconscious doubts about your own beliefs is the need to have others agree with your point of view.
P.P.S. Remember, life is intended to be joyful and struggle-free. Be kind to yourself when you find yourself tripping over your own values.
So how are you doing in allowing what is to just be what it is without judging that it shouldn’t be the way it is? I’d love to hear from you.
I’ll “see” you in our next newsletter February 10th.
 Love & Light,
Your Travel Guide to the 5th Dimension
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