Having trouble reading the newsletter below? Click here to view it online.

Notable Quote

“Never try to make anyone like yourself — you know, and God knows, that one of you is enough.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Community Member’s Aha! Moments

Jennifer Grainger Newsletter

Do you have an Aha! Moment you’d like to share? I want to hear from you! Tell me about your latest Aha! moment. 

Click here to sign-up for a FREE 30 Day Trial membership in the Spiritual Growth Community and receive our Sitting in the Stillness MP3

January 27, 2010
Issue #43


Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on the folly of judging judgmental people!

Jennifer GraingerWishing you much love and light,

Jennifer Grainger
Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community


Avoiding Frustration

Prefer to listen to the newsletter? Click the arrow to hear Jennifer read the newsletter to you.

Did you ever see that poster that said something like “Never try to teach a pig to sing. You will only frustrate yourself and annoy the pig!”

I was reminded of that when I found myself in conversation with a fellow student at the Matrix Energetics seminar I attended in Austin, Texas last week. Not to imply in any way that the student was a pig. No, not at all. In fact, just the opposite. She was a wonderful lady with a big heart who was worried about the reckless behavior (in her opinion) of a friend of hers.

Because we were at a spiritually focused seminar I made the assumption that she was interested in eliminating judgment from her life. I thought most spiritually-minded people knew that when we judge something as bad or wrong our brain activates the fight or flight chemicals, which in turn stresses our immune system and does nothing to positively change what is!

Among my peers we appreciate it when it is pointed out when we unconsciously make a judgment so we can get back on track of allowing life to unfold as it does, while we choose whether or not we want to participate in what is unfolding.

So when my new friend lamented her friend’s “bad decisions,” I helpfully pointed out “that’s a judgment.”

Instead of a “thank-you” she said it was because she cared so much for her friend that she wanted to get her to change her behavior so she could avoid further consequences.

Instead of asking a few questions that would let me know where she was in wanting to eliminate judgment from her perspective, I launched into the same dialogue I use with myself in situations like that. “How do you know your friend shouldn’t be having these experiences? Maybe this is exactly what her soul has on its learning agenda?”

When the response was “well, I just have so much compassion for her, and I don’t want her to have any more bad experiences,” did I use my discernment to recognize where she was in her learning? No, dammit! I went on to point out that her judgment was detrimental to herself . . .  blah, blah, blahing about what it was doing to her immune system, etc. — metaphorically speaking, trying to get this pig to sing!  

As she continued to defend her position my discernment finally kicked in and I recognized how out of harmony our exchange had become. Fortunately for both of us, I retreated and regrouped with a “Oh, yes I can see why you’d feel that way,” and let go of the need to change her mind.

Ahh! Allowing what is, is such a wonderful antidote to the stress of being right, I thought, feeling a bit sorry for her lack of understanding of what she was doing to herself.

It was only later that I realized I was judging that she shouldn’t be judging her friend! Gadzooks, talk about a cosmic joke! Instead of me allowing her to be where she was, I was judging that it was wrong for her to judge her friend.

OK, well at least I realized it sooner rather than later and had a good laugh on myself!

BOTTOM LINE: Having a compassionate heart and holding a loving space, while allowing others to be where they are on their journey is a demonstration of enlightened self-interest. And it goes a long way to reducing our own frustration, And . . . we will be a lot less annoying to our family and friends whose life perspectives are different than ours!

TIPS: Whenever you find yourself getting tense when discussing ideas and concepts, take a breath, agree that you can see how the person would see things the way they do, and just let it go.

P.S. A sure sign you have unconscious doubts about your own beliefs is the need to have others agree with your point of view.

P.P.S. Remember, life is intended to be joyful and struggle-free. Be kind to yourself when you find yourself tripping over your own values.

So how are you doing in allowing what is to just be what it is without judging that it shouldn’t be the way it is? I’d love to hear from you.

I’ll “see” you in our next newsletter February 10th.

Love & Light,
Jennifer Grainger
Your Travel Guide to the 5th Dimension

Jennifer Recommends

Visions of a Universal Humanity a movie by futurist Barbara Marx Hubbard. She brings together some of the finest minds of our time, presenting us with positive, future scenarios for humanity based on the latest scientific, social and spiritual realities.


Coaching for Practitioners is a new group coaching offering for spiritual leaders, teachers, and healers. Learn how to become visible to the people who are looking for you. A six month TeleProgram that will support you in getting your work out into the world with practical, soul-based marketing techniques. Go here to learn more . . .


Gathering for Pioneering Souls the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month. Go here for details or to register.

Did you know . . .

You can try out the Spiritual Growth Community membership for a full 30 days for ONLY $1! Besides all the scheduled TeleClasses and Spiritual Gatherings, as a member of the Spiritual Growth Community you get f.r.e.e admission to the Spring and Fall retreats PLUS generous discounts on seminars and workshops. Go to www.SpiritualGrowthCommunity.com and check out all the Member Benefits, then Sign UP for the $1 no risk, no obligation 30 day trial membership.

St. Joseph’s Medical Center’s Know Your Mind, Body, and Spirit 4-part series begins Tuesday, February 2nd and continues each Tuesday through February 23rd, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. $20 for the entire series.

Feb  2 - Healing Happens with Your Help, Carol Ritberger, Ph.D.

Feb  9 - Nutrition 101 - East and West (aka: A Tradition of Soups!), Teresa M. Chen, Ph.D.

Feb 16- Harnessing the Healing Powers of Sound and Music, Steven Halpern

Feb 23- Awakening the Mystic in You, Ramona Harris

For more information call St. Joseph’s Medical Center, Stockton, CA 209-461-6889.

Please whitelist our Spiritual Growth Community email addresses
so that you continue to receive our messages.You are receiving this message because you signed up to receive messages from the Spiritual Growth Community. If you’d like to unsubscribe please click the link at the bottom of this message.

You’re welcome to share this issue with friends and colleagues. Forward this now by clicking the “forward” button in your email program.

About Spiritual Growth Community

Spiritual Growth Community provides coaching and mentoring, teleclasses, workshops, on-going small group sessions, eCourses, guest speakers, a member forum, and live events to connect like-hearted people on the path of spiritual development for loving support and spiritual comradery. Visit Spiritual Growth Community membership benefits page for an overview.

Call us: 209-369-6188
Contact us via our contact form

Mailing Address: P.O. Box 1611, Lodi, CA 95241 USA

Privacy Policy
Copyright © 2008-2010 Spiritual Growth Community All rights reserved. You may reproduce this article by including this copyright and, if reproducing it electronically, including a link to SpiritualGrowthCommunity.com

© Copyright 2008-2010 Spiritual Growth Community. All rights reserved.