Jennifer Recommends

Be Full of Yourself: The Journey from Self-Criticism to Self-Celebration by Patricia Lynn Reilly. Centuries of patriarchy have caused women to internalize self-criticism and “not good enoughism.” Reilly teaches the language of self-celebration and supports women in incorporating it into their daily interactions so they may return to their natural state of being fully themselves. 

Let me know what you think.

Notable Quote

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Eckhart Tolle
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

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More Joy Less Struggle Yeah!

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Volume 2, Issue 14
July 29, 2009


Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on moving through a Dark Night of the Soul.

Jennifer GraingerWishing you much love and light,

Jennifer Grainger
Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community


From Victim to Victor

Prefer to listen to the newsletter? Click the arrow to hear Jennifer read the newsletter to you.

“My life was going great,” said Franklin (not his real name). “I was walking my talk. I was finally getting ahead financially for the first time in my life. I was ridin’ high thinking I finally had The Secret working for me . . . and then, boom! The bottom drops out. In this economy people aren’t willing to pay for quality work. I haven’t gotten one single job that I bid on in the last 2 months. I’m behind in my rent. I can’t afford to buy license tags for my car. God hates me!”

Franklin had been referred to me by a mutual friend who knew Franklin from her Course in Miracles class. This was our first phone conversation. “Gee, Franklin, that’s a lot to be dealing with,” I said. Even though it was clear Franklin was deep into victim mode, feeling life was doing something to him instead of for him, there was no value in pointing it out just yet.

In our conversation I learned that he had been on a spiritual path for over twenty years. This was not his first Dark Night of the Soul. Having dealt with more than a few of my own Dark Nights over the years I knew this was not the time to remind him that everything that happens in our life is for our highest good, and at some level we are creating it.

He continued venting for about ten minutes, and then after a rather long pause in which I said nothing, he said, “I just feel so lost.”

“Yes,” I said, “that kinda goes along with the Dark Night territory.”

“I guess I’m sort of in victimland,” he said with a slightly embarrassed laugh. “I know it is my  consciousness that draws to me the experiences I have so that I can learn and grow, but I don’t know how to figure out what the heck the lesson is here,” he said.

I definitely related to his exasperation. Knowing we are creating something and not knowing what belief or behavior is driving it is a very helpless feeling.

“Do you know of Louise Hay and her book, You Can Heal Your Life,” I asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“What has helped me the most to get the answers I need to move through something like this is to state out loud, ‘I am willing to change.’ This declaration tells the Universe I’m ready to hear the answers that will lead me to the root belief that is driving the current situation. It tells the Universe I’m acknowledging that to have a different ‘out there’ I need to change something inside.

“So I say ‘I’m willing to change,’ then what?” asked Franklin.

"Then you ask to be shown the way. You say ‘I’m willing to change; show me the way.’ Then pay attention. That’s it. No question goes unanswered. You may get it in bits and pieces, but it will come clear eventually.”

“Thanks, I am feeling better, even hopeful.” He paused. I waited. “Hmm . . . I see I have a lifelong pattern of being on the brink of pennilessness,” he said.

“Sounds like you’re ready to heal this one for good, Franklin. Good for you.”

We chatted another 10 minutes or so, and I invited him to register for the $1 trial membership in the Spiritual Growth Community. “We are going study the Shadow, that unconscious part of ourselves that runs us without us knowing it, in the next series of teleclasses. It will be a perfect addition to your own inner work of meditation and journaling to get to the bottom of what’s been fueling this lifelong pattern.”

Franklin was back on track again. We ended our conversation with him thanking me, and me asking him to say “hi” to our mutual friend when he next saw her.

I love my work!

BOTTOM LINE: Taking responsibility for what shows up in our life (without blaming ourselves or being hard on ourselves) is essential to having more Joy and less struggle. Believing that life is doing something to us puts us in victim mode, which disconnects us from our power to take effective action.

TIP: Surround yourself with people who are moving beyond the victim mentality. They will help you remember that nothing happens outside of you that is not a reflection of something inside. Change the inside and the outside changes accordingly.

P.S. Remember, you are never alone. Ask for help and you will get it.

P.P.S. You’re not in control of your life, but you can take charge.

Community Member’s Aha! Moments

Jennifer Grainger NewsletterDo you have an Aha! Moment you’d like to share? What is your experience of stepping out of victim mode and taking back your power? Is the idea that feeling like a victim in a situation is just one perspective? That you can choose victor instead by taking responsibility and being willing to change? What do you think?

I want to hear from you! Tell me about your latest Aha! moment. 

Jennifer Grainger


Spiritual Growth Community Memberís Upcoming Classes

Tuesday, August 4th from 7 to 8 pm PDT - teleclass Bringing the Shadow into the Light

In a continuation of learning to love ourselves, our series for August will focus on meeting our Shadow and making friends with it. The Shadow is a term used to describe those parts of our personality that we’ve disowned and shoved into the depths of the subconscious. These are the parts that sabotage our personality self and cause us to repeat destructive patterns. By bringing the Shadow into the light we are more able to take conscious charge of our lives instead of being run by outdated programs from the past. The more we can love and integrate our shadow selves, the more Joy and less struggle we experience, and the more unconditional love flows through us.

Monday, August 10, from 7 to 8 pm PDT - teleclass Channeled Message by Abraham

My guide, Abraham, tunes into the people on the call and gives a message that will educate, illuminate and inspire us. (I am a conscious channel. That is, I am fully present and aware of the messages coming through me).

Mark Your Calendar

Fall Retreat - Sunday September 27, 2009

A day to leave the chaos behind, connect with your Angels and Spirit Guides, replenish your heart and soul, and gather with like-hearted people for a day of spiritual refreshment and rejuvenation. Held at Now and Zen Yoga Spa in Lodi, CA. Presented by Jennifer T. Grainger

Free to Spiritual Growth Community members.

$125 for non-members, $97 if registered by September 18th. Includes mp3s of guided meditations and a deli lunch.

Space limited to 20 participants

Lost in the Past Seminar - Sunday, November 1, 2009

Return to the past life that is most impacting your life today and reclaim that part of your Self that got left behind. Integrate this part into your present day personality self and move closer to being your Authentic Self. Joy is who you are. The more you are your Authentic Self, the more Joy you experience. Held at Now and Zen Yoga Spa in Lodi, CA. Facilitated by Rev. Susana Atsatt and Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.

$125 which includes mp3s of guided processes and a deli lunch. Early Bird: $97 if registered by October 16th.

Spiritual Growth Community members receive 20% discount.

Space limited to 20 participants

If you are not a member of the Spiritual Growth Community and would like to join in on our classes click here and register for the $1.00 30 day trial membership. You will have complete access to all the membership benefits for a full 30 days. If you decide you’d like to continue after the 30 day trial you will be billed $47 a month for each month you remain a member.


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