Jennifer Recommends

The Shadow Effect: A Journey From Your Darkest Thoughts to Your Greatest Dreams an interactive movie experience presented by Debbie Ford.

The Shadow is the hiding place for your most disliked thoughts, emotions, and impulses. Discover how by embracing your worst fears, you can step into your greatest self. Be inspired to uncover the wisdom in your wounds, the blessings in your misfortunes, and the gifts that are waiting to be claimed where you may least expect them . . . in the dark.

Available from Hay House. Click here to watch the trailer. If shadows could talk, they would tell you that there is gold to be mined in every experience.

Notable Quote

“You must be good to yourself if you are ever going to be any good for others.”

Neale Donald Walsch
from his God Wants
You to Know

A free eCourse for you

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More Joy Less Struggle Yeah!

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Volume 2, Issue 15
August 12, 2009


Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on being kind to yourself when you have a “wake-up” call.

Jennifer GraingerWishing you much love and light,

Jennifer Grainger
Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community


No One Became Enlightened By Beating Themselves Up!

Prefer to listen to the newsletter? Click the arrow to hear Jennifer read the newsletter to you.

“I feel so stupid,” said Judy (not her real name). “I am such an idiot! I should have known better. I just ran back in the house to grab my water bottle, and then the phone rang. I only answered it long enough to say I didn’t have time to talk and I’d call back later. By the time I got outside my car was gone! I was so stupid to leave it running in the driveway, for even a second!”

It had been two days since her car was stolen. The aftermath of police reports, insurance claims, getting a rental car, and missing work for which she’d be docked her pay, was the tipping point. Already stressed to the max with too many things to do and not enough time to do them, Judy’s list of duties, obligations and commitments couldn’t accommodate one more thing. Beating herself up was only adding to the stress.

There were several avenues to explore with Judy: the first being her lack of compassion for herself for all she’d been through; the second being that there are no accidents, so this event held a gift for her. Of course I knew better than to point that out. No one wants to be told outright that their current upsetting situation contains a gift. It is much more powerful for them to discover that themselves.  “Judy,” I said, “perhaps you’re being a little too hard on yourself. You’ve been on overload for way too long. Something was bound to give sooner or later.”

Judy let out a big sigh and I could almost see her over the phone line rest her forehead in her hand. “Well it was just stupid for me to leave the car running in the driveway,” she said.

“If it were me who had left my car running in the driveway and had it stolen, would you be telling me how stupid I was?”

“I get it,” said Judy. “Of course I wouldn’t be telling you that you were stupid, so why can’t I be as kind to myself as I would to someone else in the same situation?”

“Exactly,” I said. “Would you like to do a quick meditation to find out how some split-off part of yourself is trying to help you by calling you names and generally beating you up?”

“You bet,” said Judy.

I had her take a couple of deep breaths to relax her body before leading her into the meditation to meet that part of herself face-to-face in her imagination. When she connected with that part, she offered it love and asked it to come sit beside her. She asked it what it was trying to do for her by calling her “stupid” and “idiot.” It told her it was trying to keep her safe by making sure she never did anything like that again. She gently told this part that calling her names just made her feel bad.

The next step was for Judy to tell it that a better way to help her was for it to assist her in lightening her load of commitments so she’d be less rushed all the time. We ended the meditation by calling in a Master Being to work with this part of her to mature it into present time and to integrate it into her present self.

“So how was that?” I asked when she returned from the deep meditative state.

“I feel really peaceful,” said Judy.

“Good! That’s a great meditation to do anytime you find yourself worrying, feeling less than joyful, or anytime you notice an inner voice that does not support who you are. Believe me, we all have them. Each time we can integrate one of our split-off parts we are that much closer to being whole.”

With the hateful voice gone from her mind Judy was able to take a calm look at how out-of-balance her life had become. She had no time to herself. She was not getting the sleep she needed. She wasn’t eating right. I reminded her that we all have the same amount of hours in the day and how we spend them is our decision to make. She agreed that even if she had 8 days a week and 13 months a year nothing would change, she’d just be trying to do even more things.

As we began to sort through her “have-to’s” Judy could see that most of the them were because she didn’t want to disappoint anyone by saying “no.” Like so many good-hearted people, she had put her own needs last instead of first, where they belong. “You can’t give much from an empty well,” I reminded her. 

I smiled when she said, “Well I guess this was my wake-up call to take charge of my life! I suppose I’m lucky I didn’t have to get physically sick or hurt in an accident to become conscious of how out-of-balance my life had become.”

We used our remaining time together to block out some “Judy-time” in her calendar. “Write it in ink,” I said, “so you won’t be tempted to shortchange yourself!” I had her practice a few handy phrases for politely saying “no,” which I encouraged her to use whenever she didn’t want to do something. “So let’s have you try on saying ‘no,’” I said.

“OK,” said Judy clearing her throat . . . I wish I could say “yes” but it just doesn’t work for me right now.

“Perfect! How did that feel?”

“Not too bad. It feels a little softer than a flat ‘no’,” said Judy.

“OK. Try another one.”

“OK . . . I need to check my calendar. Can I get back to you?"

“Great, Judy. That might be a good one to start with. You will probably find it easier at first to stall for time and then say ‘no’ over the phone or in an email rather than face-to-face. Believe me, once you see that the world doesn’t fall apart when you say ‘no’ it will get easier and easier to follow your inner sense of what is right for you. Then when you do say ‘yes’ it will come from a full heart.”

BOTTOM LINE: Running ourselves ragged trying to be all things to all people will eventually lead to a wake-up call. And when we do get a wake-up call, beating ourselves up about it only makes it worse. Learning to say “no” to things we don’t want to do goes against what many of us were taught. But it is a new day. Getting our own lives in order, making time to connect with our own inner guidance will help us be in the right place at the right time. From there we can serve from a full heart.

TIP: If you have a split-off part of yourself that is giving you a hard time, set aside some time to have a chat with it. If you are a member of the Spiritual Growth Community, the Reclaiming a Split Off Part of Yourself meditation is available f.r.e.e to you in the audio archives. It is the second from the bottom of the list. If you are not a member of the Spiritual Growth Community you can purchase the mp3 by going here.

P.S. Remember that we are shifting from being outer-directed (pleasing others) to becoming inner-directed (letting our soul guide our lives) so that we are living in the flow and rhythm of the Universal life-force energy. The more aligned we are with our Authentic Self the more Joy and less struggle we experience. This makes us more fun to be around, so in the long run we do everyone a favor when we are true to ourselves.

Community Member’s Aha! Moments

Jennifer Grainger NewsletterDo you have an Aha! Moment you’d like to share? Have you had a wake-up call you’d be willing to share? How easy or difficult is it for you to follow your heart and say “no” when something isn’t right for you? How do you decide what is right for you? Is it by how you feel emotionally, or physically?

I want to hear from you! Tell me about your latest Aha! moment. 

Jennifer Grainger


Spiritual Growth Community Memberís August Calendar

Tuesday, August 18, from 7 to 8 pm PDT - teleclass
Bringing the Shadow into the Light

As Marianne Williamson says in her book A Return to Love, “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you . . . As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” We will examine ways of bringing more light to the subconscious mind. Where there is light, darkness cannot exist.

Wednesday, August 19, from 7 to 9 pm PDT - in-person
Monthly Spiritual Gathering - Jennifer’s home, Lodi, CA

This is a time to sit back and relax in a peaceful space of Oneness. Jennifer channels a message that often brings clarity to issues you are working on and usually creates a feeling of mental and emotional peace and physical relaxation. Next is a guided meditation that takes you inward to the center of your being where your Divine Self resides that often brings joy to your heart and peace to your mind.

Thursday, August 27, from 7 to 8 pm PDT - teleclass
Open Coaching Call

Whether you want coaching or just want to listen to what others have to share, this call is bound to boost your spirit and enliven your soul! If you have a particular spiritual growth issue you’d like to see addressed in this call, you can email me your topic or issue. I will do my best to cover it in the call. We will end with a guided meditation.

Mark Your Calendar

Fall Retreat - Sunday September 27, 2009

A day to leave the chaos behind, connect with your Angels and Spirit Guides, replenish your heart and soul, and gather with like-hearted people for a day of spiritual refreshment and rejuvenation. Held at Now and Zen Yoga Spa in Lodi, CA. Presented by Jennifer T. Grainger

Free to Spiritual Growth Community members.

$125 for non-members, $97 if registered by September 18th. Includes mp3s of guided meditations and a deli lunch.

Space limited to 20 participants

Trapped in the Past Seminar - Sunday, November 1, 2009

Return to the past life that is most impacting your life today and reclaim that part of your Self that got left behind. Integrate this part into your present day personality self and move closer to being your Authentic Self. Joy is who you are. The more you are your Authentic Self, the more Joy you experience. Held at Now and Zen Yoga Spa in Lodi, CA. Facilitated by Rev. Susana Atsatt and Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.

$125 which includes mp3s of guided processes and a deli lunch. Early Bird: $97 if registered by October 16th.

Spiritual Growth Community members receive 20% discount.

Space limited to 20 participants

If you are not a member of the Spiritual Growth Community and would like to join in on our classes click here and register for the $1.00 30 day trial membership. You will have complete access to all the membership benefits for a full 30 days. If you decide you’d like to continue after the 30 day trial you will be billed $47 a month for each month you remain a member.


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