Jennifer Recommends

Busting Loose from the Money Game: Mind-Blowing Strategies for Changing the Rules of a Game You Can’t Win, Robert Scheinfeld.

Learn why you can’t win the Money Game and how you can bust loose by discarding the rules you were taught. You will learn new Joyful, struggle-free rules that do work. Money can become a non-issue in your life.

Notable Quote

“Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny.”

Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist:
A Fable About
Following Your Dream

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Volume 2, Issue 8
April 22, 2008


Today’s newsletter puts the spotlight on having the courage to be your Self.

Jennifer GraingerWishing you much love and light,

Jennifer Grainger
Jennifer T. Grainger, B.Msc.
Founder: Spiritual Growth Community


To be Your Authentic Self . . . You Must Be Full of Your Self!

I stopped to have a quick bite at a local café. Two women seated in the booth behind me were engrossed in their conversation that focused on how much one of them didn’t like her job.

“But I can’t make this kind of money anywhere else, so I am stuck,” she said. While her friend commiserated with her, I wished I’d been part of the conversation so I could have asked, “If you could make this kind of money doing something else, somewhere else, what and where would it be?”

From my experience as a coach I can tell you the two most likely responses:

  1. A stunned silence
  2. A list of what kind of jobs she didn’t want, and a list of places she didn’t want to live.

Why is that? Because knowing what we want has not been the focus for most of us growing up. The main focus was on pleasing the people in charge in order to gain reward or avoid punishment. And many of us as children regularly had our imaginations squashed and our dreams shattered until we learned it was less painful to just not want things.

Secondarily, by the time we’d become adults we’d thoroughly absorbed into our subconscious mind the “you can’t do (fill in the blank) because” and “you can’t have (fill in the blank) because” messages. As adults we don’t need anyone outside of ourselves to squash our imagination and shatter our dreams. Our automatic programs do it for us.

Thirdly, as children when “bad things happened to us” we made decisions about how life is and how we need to be in order to be safe. We are now living out those perspectives, and will continue to live out those perspectives until we consciously get on a path of personal and spiritual growth.

For example, I recently uncovered an unconscious program of my own about how to be a “good woman” in a relationship with a man. At first I was shocked when I saw the program, and then I was dismayed that with all the work I have done in expanding my consciousness such an insidious program could have been outside of my awareness all my life! Finally I was grateful to have this come into the light so I could take another step forward in being my Authentic Self (the me I was born to be, instead of the me I was trained to be).

The realization came to me in bits and pieces over a period of about a month. Without going into the details of how I discovered this program, I’ll give you the highlights:

I was trained from an early age to be a wife. From my earliest memory whenever I wanted to do something that adults do (sit at the grownup table at Thanksgiving, stay up as late as I wanted, talk on the phone to whoever I wanted, etc.) I was told, “When you grow up, get married and have children, you’ll be able to do (whatever).

In my training to be a good wife I was taught that men are smarter than women and that my husband would take care of me. As this subconscious program began bubbling up from my subconscious, I remembered that when I was a girl in 3rd or 4th grade (whichever grade your arithmetic lessons include  fractions), I remember thinking “I don’t need to learn this, my husband will know how to do it.” (Pathetic, I know!)

Another component was both my mother and my grandmother would correct my “bad” behavior with a conspiratorial promise not to tell my father (or grandfather) about it. The implication was that it would make them angry and those consequences were to be avoided at all costs.

I was married at 18. From that time forward my intended behavior was to pay close attention to what my husband(s) wanted and not to do anything that would make them angry.

Fast forward to today. I have spent all of my adult life, with the exception of seven years between marriages, living out the “good wife” role. What a challenge it has been since my divorce two and a half years ago to “come into my own” as a woman knowing who I am, what I want, feeling comfortable asking for it, believing I deserved it, and knowing I can meet my own needs if necessary (thank you very much!). 

I have taken a giant leap forward into authenticity. Not only do I know what I want, I am (almost) fearless in asking for it, and letting the man in my life have whatever reaction he is going to have.

This has not been easy! The first time I got the courage to speak up for myself, I burst into tears with the fear of it. Fortunately I had a patient and non-threatening man to practice with.

In this process I have become clear on what I want in a relationship. I have no problem asking for what I want. I have become a woman who is “full of herself!” (Weren’t we told that was bad?) Yes . . . to be Authentic is to be full of your Self (Your Authentic Self)!

BOTTOM LINE: We are living in a time of transition from the old paradigm to the new paradigm. All the programmed roles, all the false programs, must be dissolved in order for us to step into our Authentic Selves. It takes courage to face down the hidden programs as they come to the light. Yet, that is our salvation.

TIP: Pay attention to what “activates” you. (Creates an emotional reaction in you.) What activates you is the portal to the subconscious mind. Accepting that being activated is a clue to lead you to the hidden program that is longing to come to the light keeps your power where it belongs . . . with YOU!

P.S. Having an attitude of “look what I created” for everything that shows up in our lives (“positive” or “negative”) hastens the learning of the lesson presented.

Community Member’s Aha! Moments

Jennifer Grainger NewsletterDo you have an Aha! Moment you’d like to share? Where are you getting activated? What pushes your buttons? These are precious links to hidden wounds crying to be healed. Staying focused on your self (instead of blaming others) will go a long way to healing what ails you. What do you think?

I want to hear from you! Tell me about your latest Aha! moment. 

Jennifer Grainger


Our next teleclass is the Bonus class on April 30th. I will recap what we have learned so far about developing our Sixth Sense and access higher wisdom by doing a channeling on the topic during the class. This class is a free class open to any interested person.


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